Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker to Create a Life We Don't Need to Escape

“We need to create an existence where we naturally and impulsively reach for something that builds us up or reinforces us or heals us (a poem or mantra, a meditation, a cup of hot water with lemon) instead of something that just takes us down further (a cigarette, a text to an abusive ex-lover, a bottle of wine, a new pair of shoes we can’t afford). - Holly Whitaker

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Radical Acceptance to Cope with Anxiety

Shockingly, life is not always exactly as we envision or hope it will be. One might argue that this realization hits us in one way or another on a daily basis - from the guy playing annoyingly loud music on the subway without headphones (when we are actually able to commute), to the complete upside down flip of our lives in 2020 when our work, weddings, vacation plans and daily schedules were completely turned on their heads due to the pandemic.

Sometimes our feelings, worries and anxieties about these (certainly frustrating) situations can feel overwhelming. We feel angry, disappointed, confused and fearful about what the future may bring. Sometimes we’re not even fully aware how we feel or why. Other times those feelings torment us or lead to unproductive or hurtful behaviors like lashing out at others, drinking too much, or getting caught in a cycle of negativity that can have even further destructive effects on ourselves, our work and our relationships.

When we feel frustration and disappointment with circumstances we don’t think we should have to deal with or never expected for ourselves, we usually struggle against them and have a hard time accepting them as our reality. In comes Radical Acceptance. Radical acceptance is one tool we can use to help manage our anxiety or frustration and it’s something you can practice anytime and anywhere. Radical Acceptance helps us prevent turning pain into more suffering.

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Morning Pages

“Anyone who faithfully writes morning pages will be led tot a connection with a source of wisdom with in. When I am stuck with a painful situation or problem that I don’ think I know how to handle, I will go tot the pages and ask for guidance.” - Julia Cameron

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Exploring Emotional Abuse

Is This Emotional Abuse?

When there’s physical abuse in a relationship, it’s usually clear. There is bodily contact. There is violence. Items may be broken. Physical boundaries are crossed and it is evident.

Emotional abuse can be harder to define. It is also uniquely traumatic because of this ambiguity. Many might not realize it is happening so they are left asking themselves, “What just happened? Why are they treating me like this? Is this my fault?”

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Working as a Therapist in These Times (and always) is Quite a Gift

Though reflecting on all of those events brings up many feelings for me, the point of my reflection today is actually more uplifting than you might have guessed. Thinking about this most curious time in our lives and what I have learned, actually what smacks me in the face, is really what I have relearned. That is that working as a therapist in this time of COVID-19 and ALWAYS, is quite a gift.

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Using the Wheel of Life for Vision Boarding in the New Year

It’s January and it feels impossible NOT to think about goal setting, resolutions and renewal when the the New Year comes around. For me, it feels exciting to have this chance to reset and think about what we might want to accomplish and how we can shape ourselves into our best.

One fun way to explore ideas of what we may want to manifest in the coming year is to create a vision board. You can use various approaches to make a vision board, but one of the interesting things about them, is that it stirs up some of our maybe unconscious thought and desires about what we want. The idea is that we sift through magazines or other pictures on the internet, etc., and select what we are drawn to and it can serve as a guidepost for our goals. It is a fun and easy activity that anyone can try and you may be surprised by how much meaning can come from it.

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Christina MartiniComment
What to do about your Anxiety RIGHT NOW!

Anxiety can feel overwhelming (obviously) and though you may have weekly therapy appointments to discuss triggers, develop action plans and process feelings that appointment can seem very far away when it is a Sunday night, you are home alone and that anxiety bubbles up in your chest.

Usually just the panic that comes from experiencing anxiety causes more anxiety and there is a cycle that starts that can be hard to break.

You may know some things you can already do to avoid the onset of anxiety: a healthy diet, good self-care habits, a gratitude practice, getting enough sleep, limited (or no) caffeine, avoidance of alcohol or other substances, regular exercise, yoga and meditation practices…

But what do you do when you feel the anxiety come and you need an immediate reprieve? Here are some things that can help to alleviate that feeling and get you to a place of greater peace and calm:

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Super Soul Conversations and The Goop Podcast for an Injection to YOUR Soul

So, when you’re Oprah and Gwenyth Paltrow you can get some pretty pretty serious spiritual heavy-hitters to come on your podcast and speak to your spirit..l and that’s exactly what they have done on their respective podcasts, “Super Soul Conversations” and “The Goop Podcast.” Think Eckhart Tolle, Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, Deepak Chopra, and Oprah herself! These are just some of the many guests that will grace your ears and satiate your soul if you tune in to listen.

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Free Outdoor Yoga in (mostly) Brooklyn This Summer!

If you don’t know first hand, you have definitely heard that yoga is good for you. Not only is it a great way to exercise and build strength without hurting your joints, but it is also an activity that builds in time for meditation, deep breathing, self-reflection and care for the whole self, body and mind. Yoga is an amazing practice to help with anxiety, stress and sadness and the good news is that if you want to try it, this summer you can at a very low risk. There are free yoga classes almost every day of the week around Brooklyn and other parts of the city so why not try it ASAP!? You can do yoga every day (except Wednesday!! Do you know of a free yoga class on Wednesdays?? Let me know!) without investing in anything but YOURSELF!

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21 Day Anxiety Challenge

(Full Transparency: All credit for Anxiety Challenges go to loveandmarriageblog.com!! Thank you for your wonderful work! i’m reposting it here because I think it’s a great idea from which we can all benefit!)

Sometimes Facebook isn’t all bad.

I was scrolling through and saw one of my Facebook Friends post a link to a 21 Day Anxiety Challenge. I love challenges and I love thinking of new ways to work on anxiety. I saw a cute calendar link but only an article but wasn’t able to find a calendar, so I made one myself (see above).

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Combat Anxiety, Relax and Find Your Flow with Watercolor YouTube Tutorials

When we are stressed, anxious, sad or preoccupied, often the first thing we stop tending to and caring for is…ourselves. Often we lose touch with the things we love that bring us joy and happiness. We spend so much time focusing on what HAS to get done or stressing about our fears or flaws, the things we want and life’s imperfections, that we forget to make time to do things that make us happy.

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Yale's Most Popular Course, on Happiness, is FREE online and YOU can take it!

You may have heard of Yale’s most popular course ever, the course for college students on how to live happy and experience a more fulfilling life! The course, created and taught by professor Laurie Santos, filled up immediately and received a lot of buzz in the media. Well, now, the online learning site, Coursera, has the class, with all its readings, lectures, assignments and videos, available FOR FREE!!!

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Christina Martini