What to do about your Anxiety RIGHT NOW!
Anxiety can feel overwhelming (obviously) and though you may have weekly therapy appointments to discuss triggers, develop action plans and process feelings … that appointment can seem very far away when it is a Sunday night, you are home alone and that anxiety bubbles up in your chest.
Usually just the panic that comes from experiencing anxiety causes more anxiety and there is a cycle that starts that can be hard to break.
You may know some things you can already do to avoid the onset of anxiety: a healthy diet, good self-care habits, a gratitude practice, getting enough sleep, limited (or no) caffeine, avoidance of alcohol or other substances, regular exercise, yoga and meditation practices…
But what do you do when you feel the anxiety come and you need an immediate reprieve? Here are some things that can help to alleviate that feeling and get you to a place of greater peace and calm:
Remind yourself that THIS IS TEMPORARY! The anxiety will not last forever. It will stop. Try try try not to worry about the anxiety getting worse and remind yourself that YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT just as you have in the past.
Anxiety comes from worrying about the past or fears about the future. Anxiety is the opposite of being in the moment. We start to overthink something we said or did (usually in a warped way, thinking we did something wrong) or how we came across to someone or we start to imagine all the things we have to do or what can go wrong with the presentation at work or at a party that we don’t want to go to. Take a second to be IN THE PRESENT MOMENT and ask yourself, ‘What is wrong RIGHT NOW??” The answer is probably that THERE ISN’T. In this moment, everything is okay. You are not doing that presentation. You are not having a difficult conversation. You are not in an awkward social situation. Remind yourself that you are okay right now. Repeat it to yourself over and over and feel the calm start to settle in.
Practice self-compassion. Sometimes we beat ourselves up when we are experiencing anxiety : “I shouldn’t feel like this. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I deal with this? Why did I do that? What if I don’t succeed?” and the list goes on. Firstly, realize that you ARE NOT ALONE. So many people experience anxiety and they may not talk about it… or maybe they do! There are many celebs in the public eye that have come forward to tell their story. Use positive self-talk to speak kindly to yourself. Say something like: “I am okay. I know I am not alone. I am healthy and safe and loved.” Think about what your best friend or another loved one would say to you in that moment. Channel THAT voice and not the critical harsh inner voice that sometimes comes out in our worst moments. What would you say to you as a child if you were feeling this way? Repeat that to yourself.
Breathe. There are many ways to breathe to calm your body and guess what….? Calming your body calms your mind. Put your hand on your belly and take deep breathes in, feeling your belly inflate and deflate. Take ten breathes. You can also use the 4-7-8 technique. With this, you breathe in for a count of four, hold your breathe for a count of seven and then breathe out for a count of eight. Another breathing exercise involves taking your right forefinger and closing your left nostril. Breathe in deeply through your right nostril until your lungs are full. Then, use your right thumb to close your right nostril and push the breathe out the left nostril. Repeat. Repeat again. Do it at least six times.
Try to Meditate. If you have a meditation practice, this may be easier. On the Calm app there are emergency meditations for anxiety that you can use as a tool. If you do not have a meditation practice and feel like you’re not good at this - don’t worry and do not add this to the list of things to beat yourself up about!!
Change your environment - Go for a walk , ideally in a park or near some sort of nature. Bring headphones and put on some music that is tried and true to lift your spirits.
Turn upside down. Yes! That may sound strange but flipping your body over in a rag doll pose or letting your arms hang down gives your mind a moment to reset and catch up with your body and that moment might be all you need to let you shift and start to ease up the anxiety.
Put something cold on your body. Use a cold water bottle, ice cubes in a paper towel or some frozen peas to again cause that body to mind shift and give you some mental space to defrost that anxiety.
Make a Plan. For some of us, free form writing might be too overwhelming, Instead what might be helpful is writing a list of all the things that you are worried about right now. Then, prioritize them. After you’ve done that, start with the first one, the thing that is stressing you out the most right now, and see if there is any sort of plan or anything under your control that you can do to address that one issue and feel better. Then, work your way down the list. It is true that there are some things that are out of our control, but there are many things that are in our control. Creating a plan with clear, realistic action steps can tame anxiety and help us feel like we’ve got this.
Write a Letter to Your Anxiety. In it you can address how it makes you feel, why you want to overcome it, the ways you want to handle it, the ways you want to reclaim your life and what your life can be like without excessive fears and worries. If this resonates with you, give it a try!!!
Create. Buy an adult coloring book, start knitting, have watercolors, markers, crayons, colored pencils, pastels or cray-pas nearby and draw how your anxiety feels.
Call someone. So, this depends on a few things, Sometimes we may feel too anxious to actually talk and I totally get that. Maybe there is someone you can call who gets that too. Sometimes it’s just helpful to call someone and ask them about THEIR stuff. The distraction of listening and supporting them could create a change for your mood. Sometimes there are awesome, supportive and caring people who just get us and who make us feel good. If there is someone who you know will be that person for you then give them a call! We often don’t want to be a burden on others but there are many out there who love us and want to be there for us. However, if there is this one person that you always call hoping for a certain reaction but they just can’t give it and it leaves you feeling worse, don’t call them. If there is someone going through their own stuff and they can’t be there for you in the way you need, don’t call them either because it may, understandably, leave you feel more disappointed.
Spend time with your pet. I am a big proponent of animals in general but they are especially great when dealing with anxiety. Cuddle with your dog, watch your cat and just spend time appreciating the unconditional love that animals give without any questions or expectations. If you don’t have a pet because it’s too much in the city, there are many shelters (Bideawee, Animal Care Centers of NYC, and BARC Shelter, to name a few) where you can get oriented and start volunteering with animals, usually on your own time.
These are some ways we can quell those anxious feelings and I hope that at least one of them may be helpful to you. If you have more methods that you use in those anxious moments, please share them!