Getting the Love You Want Workshop in NY with Carol Kramer

WORKSHOPS FOR COUPLES: “GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT” WEEKENDS!

Twenty years ago, Harville Hendrix, PhD, wrote his best-selling book, “Getting the Love You Want.” His insights and expertise garnered him about 17 cameos on the Oprah Winfrey show and he and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, founded Imago therapy using the ideas and techniques he wrote about here.

In the book, he outlines the key elements of Imago: the Imago Dialogue which includes mirroring your partner, validating their thoughts and empathizing with their feelings; the idea that we unconsciously find in our partners our “Imago match,” a person who embodies that positive and negative traits of our parents; and that we spend the time in our relationship trying to heal childhood wounds to become joyful and “whole” again.

The “Getting The Love You Want” Workshops are available during weekends for couples to learn the theories of Imago and to experience the tools and techniques Hendrix has found that work to help couples re-connect and safely discuss anything.

This weekend I assisted Carol Kramer, the expert Imago therapist training me, as she presented the “Getting the Love You Want” workshop in NYC. In attendance were five couples at various points in the relationship, from dating to eighteen years of marriage. During the weekend, we learned about Hendrix’s theories and then couples had many opportunities to dialogue with each other so they could learn the process well and continue it at home. Couples can use dialogues to discuss anything: something they’re happy about, a small frustration, a childhood experience impacting their relationship or as a way to ask for a behavior change from their partner. Lots of guidance was provided at the workshop to have these discussion and dialogues are always free of shaming, blaming or criticism. Couples uncovered important understandings about themselves and each other and were able to see their relationships in new, loving ways.

I was very thankful to be a part of this intimate weekend and learned a lot from Carol and the participants. Over the weekend, Carol reminded us that, “You can be right or you can be in a relationship,” and that “Conflict is an opportunity for growth.” I am so excited to continue working with Imago and helping couples learn these tools to deepen or even save their relationships.

At the end of the weekend, couples flooded each other with compliments. “I love your butt” one partner yelled. “I like how you drive so cautiously!” her partner shouted back. This flooding ceremony was a celebratory way to end the weekend . In another culminating exercise, couples worked together to create a relationship vision. This blueprint for the relationship can be a source for new dialogues so couples continue work together to create their realistic dream relationship.

The weekend was hard work but it was evident that each couple made real progress in just one weekend. Of course, the work doesn’t end there and the journey does last a lifetime, but you will leave the workshop with new insights and an Imago workbook of exercises to continue to practice at home.

If you are interested in attending a workshop, they are always going on around the country and internationally! Harville Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt will present a “Getting the Love You Want” Workshop for couples at Omego, a retreat center in Rhinebeck, NY in June and September of this year (2019), but you can find workshops around the world at any time on this site.

If you want to start doing Imago work now, this is exactly what we can do in sessions together! Woohoo! Contact me for an appointment!!